Switching gears while maintaining progress

I love business. Which probably isn’t true of a lot of writers. Most writers just want to create and hate the marketing/promotion side. I love the business side of most things, I just have to figure out what I’m promoting and how I’ll do it in ways that aren’t psychotically annoying. No one likes constant self-promotion that doesn’t add value to their own lives. It’s like people who go to large loops for the sole purpose of promotion. It’s ineffective.

But I love business. I love words like “fiscal year” and “profit and loss statements.” Which might make me slightly crazy. But it’s just all very sexy to me. Right now I’m looking into some long tail ways of earning some money. Since I’m obviously not cut out for working for someone else, and have current obstacles blocking my way, I may as well spend my time building something of my own. Rather than sitting around whining and moping about things I can’t do. (Most of the things I can’t do are things that in a perfect world where I could do whatever I wanted, I wouldn’t choose to do anyway, so I don’t know why I’m whining. Perhaps this is opportunity.)

If I had started 2 years ago, I would have something to show for it now. It’s the “long tail” part of it that makes it overwhelming. But this is not unlike the whole weight loss thing I just did. It was very long tail. Because I didn’t starve myself or workout like a ninja or deprive myself of every food I love, it took a very long time. What made me buckle down and do it was that I realized the time would pass whether I lost the weight or not. And a year or two from then I could be where I wanted to be or I could still be where I was.

So that’s where I am right now. The time will pass whether I do anything with it or not. I can sit 2 or 3 years from now still with very little accomplishment to show for my life so far, or I can buckle down and take the small steps necessary to build something. Writing is a long tail game obviously but it’s not the only thing I’m interested in, and I’m thinking in terms of several small income streams. Because to me, it’s the one person business model that makes the most sense. When you diversify your income you create something that is much more stable over the long term.

I’ve done some small business-y things before. Had some small success, and then some failure or quitting. Though I don’t believe they were pointless wastes of time. I learned things that I can apply to my next attempt. And I also learned, that had I stuck with it, I would have been more successful over the long term, because I would have solved problems and figured out new ways to do things. If you can get one customer/client (and make them a satisfied customer/client), you can get more. It’s only a matter of how. What I’m learning is that almost anything worth doing or having is a long tail game. Weight loss, business, writing, strong relationships. So it’s pointless to look for instant gratification.

So I’m in that exciting business planning stage, where I’m getting ideas and making notes and trying to work out problems. Some of what I’m learning will be vital to the business side of my writing as well. But writing and editing are one of my primary concerns on a daily basis. Because becoming a successful author is a major goal for me.

One of my challenges is how to manage the various things I’ve got going on. The largest benefit I have going is, daily time. Not having a full time job tying me up, I can get far more accomplished, assuming I treat this as a full time job. And considering there are novelists with full time real world jobs this is encouraging. It’s all a matter of time management.

Right now I’m trying to do my writing/editing first, then do the other business-y type stuff. Because once I get into business mode it’s hard to pull me out. Though it can be the same with writing itself. It’s hard for me to shift gears in one day from full on business mode to writing mode, so I might try splitting my work up according to the day. Certain days I’ll write, certain days will be more business oriented.

What things besides writing do you juggle and how do you switch gears and keep forward momentum?

 

The fluctuating meaning of words

Words all obviously have their meanings. All we have to do is hop over to dictionary.com to find any of them. And in fact, anytime I use a “big” or “sophisticated” word, I tend to go make sure that I’m actually using it right, so I don’t look like a big goober. It’s not that I’m trying to “look smart” I just don’t want to “look dumb” by being wrong when I can check it.

But it’s not always so simple. Sometimes words are words we made up, or sarcastic words, or joking words, or sarcastic joking words. And it depends very much on the person saying them, who they’re saying them to, and the foundational relationship of those two people. Inside jokes fit very well inside this motif, but it’s not just jokes.

People in close relationships tend to develop their own special kind of language that people on the outside won’t necessarily get unless they know both people. This was illustrated to me the other day.

I’ve lost maybe 45 pounds since my heaviest weight. I’m now very healthily back in the normal BMI category and much closer to feeling like “me” again. One of my closest friends who was here mostly for the “fat years” has relabeled me in her cell phone. My new name that pops up when I call is, “Itty Bitty McSkinnypants.”

I told one of my online friends about it. And he says: “Sounds like someone is jealous.” Then it occurs to me. Maybe it would sound like that to people who don’t know Lisa. Lisa isn’t a jealous person. And she makes up goofy words and names for everyone and everything. While from some women it might be jealousy, from Lisa, it’s affirmation, and it’s funny as hell.

 

Lowering expectations.

Right now my writing to do list reads like this: Blog, 2 chapters of SMS edits, 1,000 words of CLAIMED, research agents.

But some days that just looks too overwhelming. The blog part is never a problem for me. I’m just talking on my blog, and I’ve got about 10 posts in the queue ready right now should I have a day with nothing to say, and really what are the odds of that? What usually ends up happening instead is, I have some posts that never get posted.

But when it comes to edits and rough draft, some days it feels like a lot. I had one of those days the other day. So I thought…”I can mope about it and not get anything done, or I can lower my expectations and keep moving forward.”

So that’s what I did. I lowered my edit requirements to 1 chapter, and my CLAIMED words to 500. I ended up doing 2 chapters of SMS edits and 561 words of CLAIMED.

Sometimes I think we take an all or nothing approach. We have this amount of work to do and if we can’t do it today we suck. But we all have natural rhythms and some days it really is hard to make the quota we’ve set for ourselves. Other days we can just go and go. Like the day I edited 4 chapters, and wrote 2200 words. I was going like gangbusters that day.

In the end I think it all evens out. As long as we keep moving forward.

 

The many faces of the alpha

Fair warning, this one might be a little long, because this is something that absolutely fascinates me. Power dynamics. All power dynamics fascinate me, but the power dynamics in intimate relationships especially fascinate me.

A lot of people say they want an “equal relationship.” In most cases I think what they mean is that they want a “fair” relationship. They don’t want to be walked on, and they usually don’t want to walk on others. But that’s not the same as an “equal relationship.” There is never equality in any social structure. There is always a chain of power. If both parties are always equal in all things at all times, nothing ever gets done. While one can exist in a relationship of cooperation, at some point there is a disagreement and if a win win situation cannot be found, there has to be a winner. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the same person every time, but there has to be one. Consider two submissive type personalities.

Here is what you get: “I don’t care, I’ll go to whichever restaurant you pick.” “I don’t care either. I’ll go wherever you want to go.” I’ve seen couples like this. They can spend two hours trying to make a decision because neither is dominant enough to make a choice even over something so banal. Or you have two dominant types who butt heads and fight over everything. EVERYTHING is a power struggle wherein they each must assert their dominance.

Erica got me thinking about this, because the other day in the comments section she described to me a male that she would prefer over an alpha any day. And yet, to me these qualities fit perfectly in an alpha. (quiet, intelligent, decent, dignity.) So this makes me want to explore the many faces of the alpha and what does alpha even “mean?” Because when Erica stated her preference and I immediately thought “he could be an alpha” it took me away from the “standard alpha stereotype.” And maybe that’s a good thing.

If I’m not very much mistaken, we take the “alpha,” “beta” etc. terminology from wolf packs. These are very social animals and many similarities have been found in the way wolves organize and govern themselves and how humans do. I guess this makes sense. Both species are intelligent, social animals. And both are dangerous predators.

Things like alpha-ness are all about how one interacts with those around them when it comes to the exercise or potential exercise of power. Someone can be seen to have power but not be willing to exercise that power. As long as no one knows they aren’t willing to exercise it, they have power. But once it’s known they won’t really use it under any circumstances, their power is gone. Though not using power isn’t the same as not having it. All that is required is a theoretical willingness at some point to use it.

Some women who have been in abusive situations break the pattern completely and purposefully go for men who seem physically weak that can’t hurt them. But the amount a man can bench press has nothing to do with whether he’ll hurt her or not. It’s all in his character. A scrawny guy can do as much if not more damage if he has the character traits that precipitate hurting other people.

In a romantic situation I’ve always preferred alphas. Because if I don’t have an alpha I’ll walk on him. I need someone who won’t take crap from me, a partner strong enough to take me, basically. (And I don’t mean that in a physical match up. Just about anyone can take me in a physical match up. But not everyone can take me in a verbal sparring match.)

I think when we think of alpha males, our mind goes first to the savage warrior type. Or the “bad boy.” Though I love both, alphas come in many packages. What makes them alpha is how they fall in the power structure. Not their personal likes and interests or their relative loudness or quietness. Some of the most commanding men are some of the quietest and most decent. But people still fall in line when they speak.

 

Living Conditions

There are a few things I’m paranoid about in my writing. Repeated words and similar phrases across more than one book/project. I realize everything I write will have my imprint on it. Someone could read it and go: “Yep, Zoe wrote that.” But there is this line you cross where suddenly it’s more laziness than style and I don’t want to cross that line. I used to privately harp on a few writers who had the nerve to use a metaphor twice and how could they not know they were doing this, but then I found myself doing it. And I was like oh holy crap, I’m in trouble now.

Then there are other things…like for instance, living conditions. Really and truly I understand that the hero and heroine do not have to be thrust together in a way where they share close living quarters immediately. I get this. I get that a hero can make bootie calls or the heroine can. And sexual tension leading up to that can build just fine without constant togetherness. Nevertheless, my most current stuff follows a “thrusting them together” pattern. I guess because I have a fondness for these stories. But I can’t write them all the time.

In SMS, Luc is trapped in Anna’s house by a curse. In KEPT, Greta runs to Dayne for protection which entails staying in his house where he can do that. In CLAIMED Anthony has to keep Charlie (Charlotte) out of the way of his rival which includes a temporary joint living situation. I’m now to the point where the next thing I write HAS to be wildly different from that, otherwise I look like a one trick pony. And who, besides me obviously, wants to read the same story a hundred times?

I already write smartass women and dominant men. I know I could throw a Beta in there, but I just don’t find them attractive, and if I don’t want to sleep with them, I don’t know what hope there is for the reader wanting to. And that’s sort of the point of a romance. The reader is supposed to want to sleep with them. So they’re all alphas. Though there are many different types of alpha, as well as many variations on smartass. So I can begin by exploring those variations more deeply.

In addition, both SMS, and KEPT (and CLAIMED by extension since it’s in the Keptverse) have cats as pets. Both SMS and KEPT feature dreams that are integral to the plot. I THINK this is where the similarities end, but maybe not. I’m all paranoid about it now.

On the other hand, it doesn’t matter how similar unpublished work is. If one thing gets published and the other seems too similar, I can revamp it. I do know there will be no dreams in CLAIMED. None. I’m getting away from cats, and seriously the next project, they aren’t living together or being thrust together in a temporary living arrangement. They’ll just have to build their sexual tension elsewhere.

Now I just have to worry, are Greta, Anna, and Charlie too similar? What about Dayne, Luc, and Anthony? Romance is already formulaic, am I making it worse? And how many different human beings can I really write without them all somehow sounding just like me? It’s hard once you get past the first story or two. So how do you create variability? How do you keep things new and fresh and not write the same damn story fifty times?

 

Sitting on Rejection Row

Whenever I have things submitted out via snail mail, where it could come back to me…every time I go to the mailbox I’m thinking: “No manila envelopes. No manila envelopes.” Today there was a manila envelope, but it was from the Disabled American Veterans. It wasn’t my manuscript coming back to me.

I don’t want a manila envelope, what I want is a phone call. (I say this like my desire is unique.) Since acceptance doesn’t come in the mail, though there is a sort of slight exception to this. If an editor can’t use what you’ve sent but they’re sufficiently interested in your work to request something else. Or in some cases where acceptance is conditional on certain changes but even then it’s on spec. That might be a mail thing instead of a telephone thing.

I remember when I was a teenager I didn’t quite get that acceptance generally came by phone. Somewhere in my head, since the publishing industry was so freaking slow, surely they must not have phones either. They must all exist in this mystical place where everybody still churns their own butter. And where all communication happens through the postal system. What else accounted for the slowness? (At that time I didn’t realize how massive the slush pile was, or how collaborative producing a book becomes in the end.)

Anyway…it strikes me that waiting and hoping for a telephone call to save you from rejection, is not unlike sitting on death row, waiting and hoping the governor will call. Anyone else sitting on Rejection Row right now?

 

Spam Lovers…uncharted romance territory

Well, I have to say, in the romance writer’s quest for a new hero…we have overlooked one very important hero…the spam lover. The spam lover is a direct cousin to the concerned spam friend who wants to grow your penis…regardless of your gender.

The other day, in response to “Dangerous Man Smoking” I got the following post…somehow it made it past the spam filter.

“Hello Dear.
I came across your profile and I will like us to have a good relationship and to know much better .my name is Gift Nelson i am single and never marriage.I will wait for your reply . please contact me at this my email address (Gift10026@ yahoo.com) so that i can send you my picture and more about myself. waiting to hear from you .

please i will be very happy if you can write me through this (Gift10026 @ yahoo.com)i believe we shall definitely have reason to love each other ,lets take a chance for a chance because there is no harm in tries,i can only promise you of my love ,with sweetest desiire.”

Apparently Gift, in his rampant sweetest “desiire” for me has neglected to read enough of my blog to know that I’m married.  Damn, I love it when I don’t even have to work for my blog topic.  It just falls in my lap some days.

 

Soundbytes and Sanity

So last night late in the wee hours when I was supposed to be writing, but couldn’t I wrote a post for my blog and published it. It was emo and angst ridden and sortof more than I wanted “out there” once I reread it. Not really so much what it said but how it was said. Which is funny because that’s kind of what this post is about.

So I deleted it. But not before Spy saw it. Of all the people who could have seen it, Spy is one of the people I feel absolutely most comfortable with, because I just feel like we have a lot of the same quirks. Then today Erica goes and writes about angst and this same kind of fear writers have about what others think about them, either as writers or as people. And I’m not sure if it’s the universe making more batches of coincidence cookies or if she saw my blogpost before deletion too hehehe. At any rate, this post still screams to be written.

So I have two people who “get” what I was saying and suddenly I feel like I can come back and say it. When it comes to writing I have many fears. I’ll never be published. I’m not good enough. I’m good enough but the market shifts and I never get published. I get published and my book doesn’t make it. I get published and my book is somehow a wild success against all odds but the second book bombs and I become a “one book wonder.”

Truly I would write even if I never got published, but writing, like all art forms is meant to be shared. And never seeing publication smacks of unfulfilled potential.

All those are emo and insane, but no fear is more emo and insane than the “OMG what if I lose my shot at publication over something I SAID.” Especially online. Not my writing. Not the quality of it. But me, as a person. What if some little soundbyte that encapsulates my insanity or makes me come off like a dramahound or a bitch or a know it all so colors another person’s thoughts…as in an editor or agent person, that I lose my shot?

I realize this is insane. Like Howard Hughes insane. Because frankly we’re all emo. We’re all angst ridden, and we all live just on the edges of sanity. So if editors want to work with only totally and completely sane people…who the hell are they going to work with? That’s not writers. Somehow I really doubt that editors are looking for sane writers to work with. I’m sure what they’re looking for is writers they can work with, who can take criticism of their work, who can understand the collaborative nature of a book once it’s out of their hands, who can meet deadlines, and who obviously, can write.

 

Dangerous Man Smoking

So before I got my banner all sorted, I was looking through stock photos again thinking “Well Hell, I’ll just search “dangerous man” see if they get it right. See if I can get away from these pretty boys.” So what do I get? A whole lot of pictures of men smoking. Are they serious?

What is it about a man with a cigarette that makes him dangerous? I admit there are a very few men who have made it seem hot and rebellious. But come ON we aren’t in high school anymore. Your boyfriend was bad if he smoked and you guys were fifteen. When you’re in your thirties, it’s no longer “bad” except for your health.

So why is this still part of the image of a “dangerous man” or “bad boy?” Is the message: “I inhale smoke into my lungs, I’m crazy like a dragon, you don’t know what I’ll do next?”

This mystifies me.

 

I was a bad Zoe yesterday. I did zippo writing. That’s because I spent the equivalent of a full work day (like for regular people not for writers) searching for pictures for my new banner and playing around with them to create a banner.

Tom doesn’t care for the font, but I like the way it gets truncated a bit on both ends and looks like it’s running off the page in both directions. I need more fonts though.

So anyway that’s what I did yesterday. If you are a regular visitor to my site and you see the banner that was there before, try refreshing cookies. You must assimilate.